School is coming

This year brings so many changes.  The boys are starting school at the beginning of the school year, I am going BACK to school, Mia is home with me for the entire year...on and on.

It is three days until the first day of school.  We all start on the same day.  The boys are going nuts with excitement.  In turn, I am losing my mind...ready for it all to just get started.  I realize more and more everyday, I am not cut out for young child-motherhood.  I have known this all along.  I am easily frustrated with the strange nuances of the preschooler.  I am in love with the conversations I can have with my eight year old.  I know that I will continue to love the words that come from my kids as they are older than seven or eight.

I was always told that I seemed older than my age.  Always.  I was an only child (with the exception of two much older half-sisters), until I was six years old.  I was very mature.  I've never been able to truly relate to kids my age or younger.  I'd rather talk with adults, then and now.  It's still this way.  My therapist continues to "encourage" me to build friendships within "mommy groups".  The idea of this makes me want to peel my skin off.  I don't want to sit around talking with other moms about their babies or kids.  I don't care about their kids.  I feel like there is very little intelligence in these conversations.  Also, I have a certain way that I raise my kids, it's usually different from the way most moms and dads (in "mommy groups").  I don't do attachment parenting, I don't do the psycho-Christian parenting thing.  I do discipline my kids, I do give them love, I do provide for them.  I don't coddle them.  And anyone who walks around in the world can see that most parents out there, do exactly this.  It annoys me.

My perfect scenario?  Have a handful of friends who have ZERO kids, and are happy with that.  In doing the mental evaluation of friends thing, I'm well on my way to achieving this.  Most of the people I surround myself with have NO KIDS or have part time kids.  I'm good with this.

I can't believe that, even though I have always been adverse to dealing with kids, I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 8 years!!! How did that happen?!  I do adore my kids.  I like that we have raised them to be responsible, thoughtful citizens.  I suppose that overtakes the whole "not typically liking kids" thing.  It's almost time to send them all into the world (school) and for me to return to the real world...with grownups!!!

I can't wait to be around grownups again!!